Ithaca Winter

Yesterday it was about 30 degrees here, with wind gusts of up to 30 mph. To put it bluntly, it was cold. As I was walking my freezing kids to school I started telling them about how cold it was when we lived in Ithaca. I talked about how my eyeballs would get cold. I described how the school had a rule that, in addition to coats, all the kids had to bring snow pants, hats, and gloves every day because it was so cold, and because they went outside for recess even when it was cold. "There was even one year when we had so much snow that I didn't see our grass from November until March."

My oldest then told how he remembered one day when there was an "ice mountain taller than mom" through which they dug a tunnel with the help of their preschool teachers. They also went "sledding" down it (just on their snow pants.)

Skip to this morning.

It was even colder outside. Not as much wind, but colder. I decided to be a little more attentive in bundling at least the younger kids. My 4-yr-old, donning her own snow pants, hat, gloves, scarf, and knee-length coat, asked my 6-yr-old if he wanted to wear some snow pants.

He was emphatic in his response:

"No! I do not want snow pants! We are NOT in Ithaca! And did you know that Ithaca means WINTER in Spanish?"

(Did I mention that he likes to make up words in gibberish and "pretend" it is French or Spanish)

I think I laughed for about 5 minutes.

Bad BYU Mom???

Sometimes you think you have taught your kids, and then you realize that somewhere along the line you must have overlooked something. The following are real conversations I have had with my 9-yr-old son in the past month. (I hesitate to post these because of how bad it makes me look.)

First, at the beginning of December, he came home with a spelling list from school. I asked him to tell me what words were on it, and he started reading from the list. After awhile, he paused and said, "I'm not sure how to pronounce this one, but it's spelled C-O-U-G-A-R." I yelped.

(The funniest part about this was that it was literally *days* after we had driven home, elated about BYU's win over Utah, and we assigned each person in our car to shout B - Y - U - COUGARS, and his assignment was COUGARS.)

Then, this past weekend after their last-second win over UCLA, we were all shouting in utter joy and amazement, when he came over, wearing his BYU blue football jersey and "Cougars" cap, and whispered in my ear, "Mom, are we the yellow team or the blue team?"

Maybe it's time to cough up the money and pay for cable.

Growth Spurt?

Today my 4-yr-old girl, who usually eats next to nothing, had the following for lunch:

2 Tuna sandwiches
1 Peanut butter sandwich
1 grilled cheese sandwich
a bunch of baby carrots
some oyster crackers
some raisins
2 glasses of milk
a glass of water

I nearly went into shock.

And Tonight's Forecast:

So last night was a really hard night, with my baby crying and us trying to put him back to sleep, and him crying some more, and him finally coming to our bed, where he flopped and arched backwards over my head, and flopped some more and tried to get comfortable, and flopped some more on top of me, and then on top of my husband, and finally fell asleep.

In the midst of the delirium that comes when most of me is trying to sleep and about 3% of me is awake trying to take care of a flopping baby, I had the following thought:

It's too bad you can't measure crying the way you measure snow; and I wish we could get baby forecasts the way you get weather forecasts -- something like, "and tomorrow night will have partly peaceful evening followed by scattered storms, and a chance of 3-6 inches of crying and flopping."

OK, really, I have no idea what I was thinking other than this distant memory of wishing that somebody could tell me ahead of time when I am going to have horrible nights!

Love is Smokin' Here

Every once in awhile my kids say something that really makes me laugh. Here are a few recent ones:

The other day, my 3-yo daughter came home after music time at church and was happily singing the songs she had learned. I admit that I wasn't listening very carefully until I heard my older son correcting the words. I thought she was singing "Love is Spoken Here," but she was really singing "Love is Smokin' Here." Hmmmmm.

Earlier that week she came up the stairs from the basement and told me all about the adventures she was having with her brother and the light sabers. She explained that he was pretending to be Obi Wan and that she was Obi Two.

We were at a cub scout pack meeting with the whole family. One of the night's activities required everyone to introduce themselves by saying their name and either their scouting rank or their relationship to a cub scout. This worked fairly well, with everyone following this pattern precisely -- until this one from my 6-yo: "Hello everyone. I am Braden. I am a righteous man."

Follow-up to the World's Problems

I am proud to say that one thing I have done as a mom is still working. The "quick clean-up" idea I started in August is still a hit at our house, and it's November! My kids are actually EXCITED when I announce that it is quick clean-up time. And my entire house gets "clean" in about 15-20 minutes. Really. I am not joking. Even when there are literally toys covering the floors of every room in my house. It leaves me free to do the deeper cleaning in the mornings (or to just *play* with my two younger ones.)

YAY! I wonder if I should patent the idea?

Getting the Last Laugh

I stare at the enormous bucket of Halloween candy just acquired by my four children. As we share the spoils, I carefully select a Reese's cup avoiding the sticky chewy treats forbidden by the orthodontist. I realize that these new restrictions will require much more self-control than I originally anticipated. The next 9 months with braces will truly be a demonstration of my will power or lack thereof.

He slowly waves the raspberry toffee under my nose, further emphasizing his pleasure in the face of my depravity. He bites. He chews. His temporary crown comes loose. Now who is laughing?