Bad BYU Mom???

Sometimes you think you have taught your kids, and then you realize that somewhere along the line you must have overlooked something. The following are real conversations I have had with my 9-yr-old son in the past month. (I hesitate to post these because of how bad it makes me look.)

First, at the beginning of December, he came home with a spelling list from school. I asked him to tell me what words were on it, and he started reading from the list. After awhile, he paused and said, "I'm not sure how to pronounce this one, but it's spelled C-O-U-G-A-R." I yelped.

(The funniest part about this was that it was literally *days* after we had driven home, elated about BYU's win over Utah, and we assigned each person in our car to shout B - Y - U - COUGARS, and his assignment was COUGARS.)

Then, this past weekend after their last-second win over UCLA, we were all shouting in utter joy and amazement, when he came over, wearing his BYU blue football jersey and "Cougars" cap, and whispered in my ear, "Mom, are we the yellow team or the blue team?"

Maybe it's time to cough up the money and pay for cable.

Growth Spurt?

Today my 4-yr-old girl, who usually eats next to nothing, had the following for lunch:

2 Tuna sandwiches
1 Peanut butter sandwich
1 grilled cheese sandwich
a bunch of baby carrots
some oyster crackers
some raisins
2 glasses of milk
a glass of water

I nearly went into shock.

And Tonight's Forecast:

So last night was a really hard night, with my baby crying and us trying to put him back to sleep, and him crying some more, and him finally coming to our bed, where he flopped and arched backwards over my head, and flopped some more and tried to get comfortable, and flopped some more on top of me, and then on top of my husband, and finally fell asleep.

In the midst of the delirium that comes when most of me is trying to sleep and about 3% of me is awake trying to take care of a flopping baby, I had the following thought:

It's too bad you can't measure crying the way you measure snow; and I wish we could get baby forecasts the way you get weather forecasts -- something like, "and tomorrow night will have partly peaceful evening followed by scattered storms, and a chance of 3-6 inches of crying and flopping."

OK, really, I have no idea what I was thinking other than this distant memory of wishing that somebody could tell me ahead of time when I am going to have horrible nights!

Love is Smokin' Here

Every once in awhile my kids say something that really makes me laugh. Here are a few recent ones:

The other day, my 3-yo daughter came home after music time at church and was happily singing the songs she had learned. I admit that I wasn't listening very carefully until I heard my older son correcting the words. I thought she was singing "Love is Spoken Here," but she was really singing "Love is Smokin' Here." Hmmmmm.

Earlier that week she came up the stairs from the basement and told me all about the adventures she was having with her brother and the light sabers. She explained that he was pretending to be Obi Wan and that she was Obi Two.

We were at a cub scout pack meeting with the whole family. One of the night's activities required everyone to introduce themselves by saying their name and either their scouting rank or their relationship to a cub scout. This worked fairly well, with everyone following this pattern precisely -- until this one from my 6-yo: "Hello everyone. I am Braden. I am a righteous man."

Follow-up to the World's Problems

I am proud to say that one thing I have done as a mom is still working. The "quick clean-up" idea I started in August is still a hit at our house, and it's November! My kids are actually EXCITED when I announce that it is quick clean-up time. And my entire house gets "clean" in about 15-20 minutes. Really. I am not joking. Even when there are literally toys covering the floors of every room in my house. It leaves me free to do the deeper cleaning in the mornings (or to just *play* with my two younger ones.)

YAY! I wonder if I should patent the idea?

Getting the Last Laugh

I stare at the enormous bucket of Halloween candy just acquired by my four children. As we share the spoils, I carefully select a Reese's cup avoiding the sticky chewy treats forbidden by the orthodontist. I realize that these new restrictions will require much more self-control than I originally anticipated. The next 9 months with braces will truly be a demonstration of my will power or lack thereof.

He slowly waves the raspberry toffee under my nose, further emphasizing his pleasure in the face of my depravity. He bites. He chews. His temporary crown comes loose. Now who is laughing?

Solving the World's Problems

Problem 1:
For years now I have been noticing that my children become "industrious" when they are tired. It is when they are most exhausted that their bodies kick into overdrive, the adrenalin levels go up, and they become little energizer bunnies. They run to and fro, find containers to empty and fill, jump off the couches, and generally wreak havoc. This is my least favorite time of day. Getting everyone settled down when their instinct is to go, go, go sometimes seems impossible.

Problem 2:
With four kids, my house seems like it is always messier than I would like. Even when people do "jobs" around the house, it is usually only moments before things are messed up again. I want to teach the kids to work and pick up after themselves, but the job of making everyone else do their jobs is often much harder than just doing their jobs myself. But then I'm the one doing all the work -- and it still gets messed up only moments after I'm finished cleaning.

Problem 3:
By the end of the day, I am exhausted from dealing with the above two problems.

Solution:
Harness the industriousness. Work WITH their body clocks.

For the last couple of days I have been experimenting with a little idea. All day long I don't say anything to anyone about cleaning. Then, after dinner has been over for a couple of hours, we do "quick clean up" where we spend some time in each room running around straightening things up. The kids have so much energy at this time of night that running around is pretty natural, and we can get the whole house done in about a fifth the time it usually takes during the day, especially because nobody is playing or eating or doing anything else to mess it up.

The bonus to this is that we all go to bed with the whole house clean! It also means that we wake up with it clean, and people actually enjoy the morning because they're not dreading having to do jobs, and the house is clean for them to play in. I'm not exhausted from having to do it all myself, and we are all HAPPY!

OK, so all of the problems of the world aren't solved, but if this keeps working, it will feel like it to me. (Also, I really don't know if this is practical once school starts up again anyway -- but I'm going to live it up as long as it lasts.)