Cherry Jam (or "Why canning makes people insane")

On Sunday our neighbor told us we could pick the sour cherries off of the tree in their back yard. My first response to this was giddy delight. That has since transformed, however, as the reality of the situation has unfolded...

First, despite the fact that we have a good ladder, it is NOT a good ladder for picking cherries. It is just not tall enough standing on its own to be able to reach very high into the tree. (It unfolds to lean against the house and is then as tall as we need it to be. But only when leaning against the house.)

Second, picking cherries on a ladder while five months pregnant and with two small children trying to "help me" is a time-consuming, somewhat frightening task, and involves a lot of warning the younger children about the potential of falling, even while standing on the uppermost rung of the ladder and holding onto the tree for balance.

Third, I have this bucket. Full of cherries. That I have to somehow maneuver around. Thankfully I "helped" my parents pick cherries a few times as a kid and copied their idea of using a belt through the handle of the bucket. But then I have a heavy bucket around my 5-month pregnant waist, which works for awhile but gets pretty uncomfortable.

Fourth, right about the time I decided I couldn't reach anymore cherries without seriously endangering myself, we took a break to come in and get some lunch, and I promptly started feeling VERY sick to my stomach. Flu? Kidney infection? Too much pressure on a pregnant belly? Not enough food in the pregnant belly? I don't know, but I really needed to lie down. I put the toddler down for a nap and thought I was successfully distracting the 4yo with computer games, but every time I was almost asleep, she needed help. Anyway, the rest of the night I was feeling like death and had enough of a fever to make me huddle under a sweatshirt in our 75 degree house.

Implied with the fourth point is that I did NOT immediately take care of the cherries in my bucket to turn them into scrumptious jam, jelly, or pie.

Fifth, this morning I discovered that the same 4yo had little red dots all over her body. I spent the morning verifying that it was chicken pox, trying to rearrange all of my mental plans for what we would do for the next 2 weeks, and trying to also recover from my own sickness which was not as poignant but still annoying.

By the time I looked at the bucket of cherries this afternoon, they were rotting pretty quickly. Like a third to a half of them. So I started trying to take care of them and sort out the bad ones. Which leads us to the next thing.

Sixth, while I am trying to cut out cherry pits and sort out rotting moldy cherries, my toddler is "helping" me go through the bucket. Mostly he is just taking handfuls of cherries out of the bucket and throwing them into the garbage. So I move the garbage. So then he starts throwing them on the floor and squishing them with his toes.

Seventh, after working for what felt like forever, and chopping up my precious cherries, I had exactly 2 cups of chopped fruit, and half-a-bucket still left, with rapidly rotting fruit in it. I'm tired and I want to go to bed. I made freezer jam out of the 2 cups (making 2 1/2 pints by the time you add sugar and pectin) which is enough to give my neighbor one as a thank you for giving us cherries, and enough for me to have 1 1/2 left for us.

Oh, and Eighth, my kitchen is a disaster. And did I mention that I still have a half-a bucket of rapidly rotting fruit?

Why did I do this???